Insomniac....
Sleep, where are you?? I am flying through the clouds, the thoughts in my head, my pink plastic airplane piercing each illusory one with every km/hr torque. I'm romanticizing, and theorizing, and there are a few tailspins here and there. Who's to care? That much I don't dare. If I were to wear it, I'd choose
186
But I can't know if that is my size, in the cosmic closet. I thought it was. I was trying on all the others and none can compare.
When do I get an answer??? I've been waiting so long. The waiting isn't a choice, it's the drum in my heart, and it speeds up at that sight. Blood gushing and swirling, live force abound. O2 has become some kind of dream. My dream was to eat the lights.
Do you ever sit down and eat, and think how strange the human body is? What if we could be fed by light, by the thought of love? A smile, an intention. Can't we? Aren't we?
I have travelled through cities, bogs and even it seems, spent some time in dungeons of my own dark thoughts, only to realize the walls that once seemed so heavy and mildew-cast were in fact, as poofy as cotton candy gone gray. Some tears, a breathe can melt them down and pull up the veil that banned the freedom.
I can see it, and do it, and with the expansion of the breathe sweep away the remains. Quantum physics, anyone? I would be a total believer, except for the absence of tears in the eyes of the scientists.
I haven't cried in so long. I have wanted to, some passionate release. I am so permeable now that I am contained, by the whim for transcience. Like the cheshire cat.
Working on my evaporating powers.. I can say I have met some with them.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Princity prance
It's a Friday in Seoul. Going to an exhibition tonight, an arty range of hats on display in cheongdam. Should be a little like a madhatters tea party, with any luck.
Morning yoga is such a treat, at body and seoul, where i be every other weekday morn. Then do the freelance dance, where will it take me??
A creative urge is nagging me, in my left ear, a whispering. Unfortunately it gets caught in the wind tunnel in exit 54 on the left labyrinthe of my brain, and sometime the esoteric sandstorms of my etherical body pick it up and sweep it right away. But I do listen, for a minute..
Time to play! Well work and then play. It's better if you're confused and not sure which is which, from time to time. It can happen, so easily.
Fingers on the keys, pen in the hand, marking, checking - voices, concordance. Meaning and sound, figures abound through the wriggling lives in the inner city. Plug in and move. It's now ~
Morning yoga is such a treat, at body and seoul, where i be every other weekday morn. Then do the freelance dance, where will it take me??
A creative urge is nagging me, in my left ear, a whispering. Unfortunately it gets caught in the wind tunnel in exit 54 on the left labyrinthe of my brain, and sometime the esoteric sandstorms of my etherical body pick it up and sweep it right away. But I do listen, for a minute..
Time to play! Well work and then play. It's better if you're confused and not sure which is which, from time to time. It can happen, so easily.
Fingers on the keys, pen in the hand, marking, checking - voices, concordance. Meaning and sound, figures abound through the wriggling lives in the inner city. Plug in and move. It's now ~
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A Room of Her Own
My room, right now, is in Pokhara, Nepal. I took a room before trekking through the Poon Hills, and when I came back to the Noble Inn hostel, vacancy was up so I was demoted to a darker, ground level room. The old lungs didn't like it so much, so when I had the chance, I asked to be moved back to my sunny 3rd level room with windows and a view, so that's where I rest. It has a solar-powered shower that is HOT water (why don't we always use such brilliant technology?)
I had grand intentions of blogging all the way through my trip, but I found that wasn't what my heart really wanted most of the time, to be sitting at a computer reflecting on my journey rather than out doing it. Now though, all these images and experiences are banked up in my brain, and my typing fingers are hungry for a good run across the keys. I can't catch up on yesterday, as can none of us, so I'm starting in the ever-present NOW.
There is a huge lake on the corner of Pokhara. It is the second biggest city in Nepal, where most of the trekking ventures start off from. It's a tourist town, and the locals push their wares on you with a friendly "Hello" or "Namaste," but compared to the soul-drilling intensity of India, it's pretty laid back.
Yesterday, I took a walk around the edge of town, determined to find the trails that lead up to the mountains overlooking the lake, so I could visit the beautiful white Peace Pagoda, built by the Japanese, that rests there. It's a lovely Buddhist monument, with a helicopter landing pad right beside it. Touche. A touch of class, those Japanese always like to imbue. It was a sweaty trek through the jungle to find this place, but I found a nice wide open path, and met a few people passing by on the way, who of course graced me with a "Hello" or "Namaste" on the way, as well as several tough little old women with bunches of firewood on their backs, picking their way through the roughage to seek their woodly jewels.
On the way back, I had planned to circumnavigate the lake in the other direction, but couldn't find a nice wide path. Instead I beat my way through with a stick, trying to knock down the lacy spider webs that I was getting covered with before I got covered with them. 45 minutes and a couple of spider bites later, I decided to retrace my steps and get to the nice, clearly-marked path that said "Boats - This Way." Another 45 minutes and I was down at the lakeside, and for 250 Nepali rupees a friendly local rowed me across back to town.
The air is so clear and fresh, I just sat in silence most of the way, sitting in the middle of the boat as I was asked. I did wonder about the fish in the lake, and was told that of course, yes, there were many fish. How big are they? Oh, 25-30kg. Seriously? Not putting my toes in there anytime soon.
I remembered the lake in Neyyar Dam, near the yoga ashram where I spent a month. Us melting students would go jump in the lake any chance we could on our few minutes of break time. Have any of you experienced "Dr. Fish?" It's a phenomena sweeping Europe first I believe but took foothold as a craze in Seoul, Korea. You can sip tea and dip your feet into the pools, where the fish nibble at the dead skin on your feet. Not a venture for the faint-hearted, I say. It wasn't til my second visit, and a couple of stiff cocktails actually that I got the gumption to actually do it. It was enjoyable, if not a novelty to knock off the list of life's must-tries. However, at this lake at the ashram, the fish were HUNGRY, and the more they tasted human flesh, the more they wanted it. I kicked them away when they got too feisty, because I saw the marks left on other students. Gouges! It's true. So the moral of the story is, don't try finding "Dr. Fish" at the lake in Pokhara, Nepal. They must be verging on the size of Loch Ness monsters, I'm sure.
That's my fish story, for now.
I had grand intentions of blogging all the way through my trip, but I found that wasn't what my heart really wanted most of the time, to be sitting at a computer reflecting on my journey rather than out doing it. Now though, all these images and experiences are banked up in my brain, and my typing fingers are hungry for a good run across the keys. I can't catch up on yesterday, as can none of us, so I'm starting in the ever-present NOW.
There is a huge lake on the corner of Pokhara. It is the second biggest city in Nepal, where most of the trekking ventures start off from. It's a tourist town, and the locals push their wares on you with a friendly "Hello" or "Namaste," but compared to the soul-drilling intensity of India, it's pretty laid back.
Yesterday, I took a walk around the edge of town, determined to find the trails that lead up to the mountains overlooking the lake, so I could visit the beautiful white Peace Pagoda, built by the Japanese, that rests there. It's a lovely Buddhist monument, with a helicopter landing pad right beside it. Touche. A touch of class, those Japanese always like to imbue. It was a sweaty trek through the jungle to find this place, but I found a nice wide open path, and met a few people passing by on the way, who of course graced me with a "Hello" or "Namaste" on the way, as well as several tough little old women with bunches of firewood on their backs, picking their way through the roughage to seek their woodly jewels.
On the way back, I had planned to circumnavigate the lake in the other direction, but couldn't find a nice wide path. Instead I beat my way through with a stick, trying to knock down the lacy spider webs that I was getting covered with before I got covered with them. 45 minutes and a couple of spider bites later, I decided to retrace my steps and get to the nice, clearly-marked path that said "Boats - This Way." Another 45 minutes and I was down at the lakeside, and for 250 Nepali rupees a friendly local rowed me across back to town.
The air is so clear and fresh, I just sat in silence most of the way, sitting in the middle of the boat as I was asked. I did wonder about the fish in the lake, and was told that of course, yes, there were many fish. How big are they? Oh, 25-30kg. Seriously? Not putting my toes in there anytime soon.
I remembered the lake in Neyyar Dam, near the yoga ashram where I spent a month. Us melting students would go jump in the lake any chance we could on our few minutes of break time. Have any of you experienced "Dr. Fish?" It's a phenomena sweeping Europe first I believe but took foothold as a craze in Seoul, Korea. You can sip tea and dip your feet into the pools, where the fish nibble at the dead skin on your feet. Not a venture for the faint-hearted, I say. It wasn't til my second visit, and a couple of stiff cocktails actually that I got the gumption to actually do it. It was enjoyable, if not a novelty to knock off the list of life's must-tries. However, at this lake at the ashram, the fish were HUNGRY, and the more they tasted human flesh, the more they wanted it. I kicked them away when they got too feisty, because I saw the marks left on other students. Gouges! It's true. So the moral of the story is, don't try finding "Dr. Fish" at the lake in Pokhara, Nepal. They must be verging on the size of Loch Ness monsters, I'm sure.
That's my fish story, for now.
So much time, so many books..
BOOKS on this trip:
Sivananda Yoga Teacher's Training Manual
The Complete Illustrated Book of Yoga - Swami Vishnu Devananda
The Bhagavad Gita - S.S.
Radha's Prem - S.S.
Moksha - S.S.
Practice of Devanta - S.S.
Thought Power - S.S.
Hindu Gods and Goddesses - S.S.
India Lonely Planet, 2009
A Room of Her Own - Virginia Woolf
The Cobra's Heart - Ryszard Kapuscinski
Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts
Commited - Elizabeth Gilbert
Her Fearful Symmetry - Audrey Niffenegger
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Seven Bhoomikas
As promised, here are the seven bhoomikas (stages) of knowledge, according to Jnana yoga:
1. SUBHECCHA - longing for truth. The desire for enlightenment.
2. VICHARANA - right enquiry. (Who am I?)
3. TANMASA - tenuous mind. Attenuation/thinning of thoughts.
4. SATTVAPATHI - self realisation. The attainment of purity. Sanchita and agami karma are no more; only parabdha karma remains.
5. ASAMSAKTI - non-attachment. The yogi plays their role in the world.
6. PADARTHABHAVANA - non-perception of objects. The yogi takes action only when prompted.
7. TURVAGA - transcendence. No karma remains. The body drops off within 3 days.
Most awake people are living in the first three stages. A sage makes it to the fourth. A person in the final four is titled, respectively: Brahmavid, Brahmavidhara, Brahamavidyavara, Brahmavidvarishta.
The purpose of my journey in India is to discover, Who am I? I am a worldly person, with spiritual inclinations. I want to cultivate some habits and awarenesses on this trip that will point me in the right direction. I want to use all of my energy for whatever my soul mission is. Is that too much to ask?
1. SUBHECCHA - longing for truth. The desire for enlightenment.
2. VICHARANA - right enquiry. (Who am I?)
3. TANMASA - tenuous mind. Attenuation/thinning of thoughts.
4. SATTVAPATHI - self realisation. The attainment of purity. Sanchita and agami karma are no more; only parabdha karma remains.
5. ASAMSAKTI - non-attachment. The yogi plays their role in the world.
6. PADARTHABHAVANA - non-perception of objects. The yogi takes action only when prompted.
7. TURVAGA - transcendence. No karma remains. The body drops off within 3 days.
Most awake people are living in the first three stages. A sage makes it to the fourth. A person in the final four is titled, respectively: Brahmavid, Brahmavidhara, Brahamavidyavara, Brahmavidvarishta.
The purpose of my journey in India is to discover, Who am I? I am a worldly person, with spiritual inclinations. I want to cultivate some habits and awarenesses on this trip that will point me in the right direction. I want to use all of my energy for whatever my soul mission is. Is that too much to ask?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Kanyakumari
I am as far south as it gets. In India. I today saw a statue that withstood the tsunami due to the mystical Vedic powers of engineering, and a footprint of Pavarti, a famous goddess. She was waiting for Siva, her love standing on one foot.
Next up is the Hannuman temple. Apparently monkeys, in devotion to Rama, made stones float with their devotion to their god. There's a lot to be inspired about!~
And, me and ashram friends will be soon attending a festival with many elephants. Before which, Periyar Wildlife reserve, where i will get to tend to and ride elephants, and hope to see some tigers. It's getting wild in here..
Next up is the Hannuman temple. Apparently monkeys, in devotion to Rama, made stones float with their devotion to their god. There's a lot to be inspired about!~
And, me and ashram friends will be soon attending a festival with many elephants. Before which, Periyar Wildlife reserve, where i will get to tend to and ride elephants, and hope to see some tigers. It's getting wild in here..
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Today is a holiday in the district of Kerala, India where I am. It's also the last day of classes at the ashram for this teacher training course. So this morning, we had a special surprise... (tho we were given a little advance notice)
Usually the first wake up bell goes off around 5:20am. This morning a lady came in and woke up me and 6 girls sleeping in beds nearby, instructing us not to open our eyes, but get out of bed. We were led in a human chain, holding hands down the steps of the dorm, across the ashram to the temple. When it was my turn, I heard one of my yoga teachers tell me to kneel down and put my head on the pillow in front of me, so I did. When he told me to sit up, I was looking at the most amazing display of fruit and flowers, and Krishna playing his flute, arranged around a gorgeous, ornate mirror. I took a good look at the new me in this Kerala Indian new year. The holiday's name is Vishu, and it's Vishnu's birthday.
I was given a "yogi name," as were many students. It's Radha. For the purposes of this course, I have enjoyed it. Radha is the lover/beloved of Krishna, the avatar God. She is self realized, and represents the bliss aspect of Satchitananda (Absolute Truth, Absolute Knowledge, Absolute Bliss). Krishna projected her into the human world so he could enjoy bliss as humans do. She is denoted for her unshakable devotion to her man (Krisha).
Lunch today was very special, served on a banana leaf instead of a tray. I can't believe it's almost the end. I have so many more stories to tell about this experience. Tomorrow is a day off to study, then we come back to write our exam on Saturday. There is a LOT of material to think over, and a lot of sanskrit words to memorize! It's hard to put words to this experience yet, and I have been in awe of it. But i'm really eager to finish and go look around at India! This has really been an other-worldly kind of experience.
Usually the first wake up bell goes off around 5:20am. This morning a lady came in and woke up me and 6 girls sleeping in beds nearby, instructing us not to open our eyes, but get out of bed. We were led in a human chain, holding hands down the steps of the dorm, across the ashram to the temple. When it was my turn, I heard one of my yoga teachers tell me to kneel down and put my head on the pillow in front of me, so I did. When he told me to sit up, I was looking at the most amazing display of fruit and flowers, and Krishna playing his flute, arranged around a gorgeous, ornate mirror. I took a good look at the new me in this Kerala Indian new year. The holiday's name is Vishu, and it's Vishnu's birthday.
I was given a "yogi name," as were many students. It's Radha. For the purposes of this course, I have enjoyed it. Radha is the lover/beloved of Krishna, the avatar God. She is self realized, and represents the bliss aspect of Satchitananda (Absolute Truth, Absolute Knowledge, Absolute Bliss). Krishna projected her into the human world so he could enjoy bliss as humans do. She is denoted for her unshakable devotion to her man (Krisha).
Lunch today was very special, served on a banana leaf instead of a tray. I can't believe it's almost the end. I have so many more stories to tell about this experience. Tomorrow is a day off to study, then we come back to write our exam on Saturday. There is a LOT of material to think over, and a lot of sanskrit words to memorize! It's hard to put words to this experience yet, and I have been in awe of it. But i'm really eager to finish and go look around at India! This has really been an other-worldly kind of experience.
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